First Birthday Presents

It's 11 days til my birthday!

Bart bestowed me with samples of treats from his (apparent) new restaurant line.

Introducing Bart Cola and Bartaffy (which is definitely not a Beggin Strip with new wrapping. Definitely not.)

Then he presented me with a business plan, including a planned menu.

 

When I told him that "fresh wiener," "biscats," and sides of "butt juice" didn't sound profitable, I got this look:

Clearly, a I know nothing, and Dog is a man before his time.

OH AND THEN THE MAIL CAME!

And I got a suspiciously awesome looking envelope.

"Huh?"

"HUH?!"

"AGHHHH!!"

"D'oh."

Hah, obvious, but still a bummer.

And later that night, had the following text convo with my oldest bro, Shayne:

Shayne: Baby Muscles sez, "F you, bitch, dis my nugget"

Me: Lol, that is TERRIFYING

Shayne:
Sup?

Me: OMG I JUST PEED


Shayne: Shh...

 Me: I hate you so much right now



Lesson Learned: Never let your family know your fears.



Ugh. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Rather, was pushed off the wrong side of the bed this morning by Space Hogging Dog and Oblivious While Sleeping Boyfriend. This, after a night of waking up every 45 minutes thinking there were bugs crawling on me (there weren't--when I'm stressed I have nightmares of bugs--but I'm still boiling the blankets and sheets when I get home from work today). I hate not sleeping through the night.

So this has been my morning:

extra strong, plz

This mug has been in the family since we lived in Germany, and after 23 years, I still have no idea what the verse says

According to Google translate, it's Bavarian satire about British religious history. Hmm.

Today should be interesting.