Monday, April 30, 2012

The Bossi Wedding

I kicked off wedding season on Saturday with a trip down to Charlotte, NC to see Nich and Krista get hitched!

from left: guy I can't remember, Mac, Jim, Nich, Krista, Candace, Kristina, Ryan, pic courtesy of
It was a beautiful ceremony filled with soft lighting, heart felt words, laughs, tears and instrumental Beatles music. And the reception was filled with good food, good conversation, lots of dancing, and one instance of me learning I indirectly destroyed someone's sense of identity and self-esteem for many years (holy long, awkward, not-blog appropriate story, Batman!) and a wacked out photo booth where Alexbond and I had way too much fun posing:

Captain America Fedora and some Masquerade Tranny
All in all, it was a successful venture. I got to see a lot of old Meade Mustang faces, and had an enjoyable road trip with Alexbond; even if I did get a speeding ticket 20 minutes after I got behind the wheel of his sweet Prius (I might be sold on hybrids--fuel economy is overly awesome in that "I'm getting old and poor" kind of way). We even had four sightings of Semi-Centipedes (a less frightening cousin to the human centipede)

first sighting
A few days before the wedding, Krista posted this someecard:

I feel like no other eecard has been more true, because I basically experienced all these things last week. At the mall, every dress I tried on was incredibly short, poofy, and made me look like a really desperate nymphete. Since when did these dresses come back in style? When I was still school dance age appropriate, I was all about the long, elaborate dresses because hey--I'm middle class with no discernible plans to get married. When the hell would I ever get a chance to wear a long ball room gown again?

favorite: my vintage 50's formal dress. It had little white flowers hidden in the layers of tulle
Kids these days. They know nothing about class and sass.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Titanic, the second post.

Wow, I've been taking terrible care of this blog, guys.

For one, I missed my blog's first birthday. Damn. Well, no. Actually, I created this blog in 2008, but it took me 3 years to post on it. So there, guilt be gone.

Second: I saw Titanic 3D and didn't blog about it.

Yeah. That's right. I'm underemployed and can't really afford gas, and there are at minimum, 6 movies I want to see in theaters right now, but I saw Titanic 3D.

I saw it with my ex-roommate, Kristin, and her best friend, Tini. I credit Kristin with allowing me to live "out and proud" as a Titanic fan. After all, we lived in the Apartment of Terribly Bad Movies together, where there was no shame. Only Sex and the City nights and Free Willy parties and sing a longs to Aladdin

We're champions, basically.

 There were pre-movie cocktails. There was costume lust. There was cackling. There were in-movie cocktails. There was cat-calling. There was potential cosplay planning. There were many tears. And there may or may not have been waltzing down the aisles during our rendition of "My Heart Will Go On." It was fantastic. Utterly, utterly, fantastic. And it absolutely replaced the terrible, terrible times I had watching it when I was 13... which was... 14 years ago. #rapidfireaging

While I can't say there was anything worthwhile about the re-release, I mean, I got bored at the same parts, and I got all girl-weepy at the same parts, but it was fantastic to be a kid again. Except this time we were kids who were getting dropped off drunk in the middle of the afternoon at a movie theater, but hey. YAY, CHILDHOOD!

Afterward, there was a pretty fantastic get together that involved me spending too much time playing with chalk pastels

ugghnmff, chalk pastels are so much fun

and more bonding/more pseudo-campfire 90's song sing a longs.

The audio of this picture would be six drunk people singing Tonight, Tonight by the Smashing Pumpkins
Thank god for good weekends.

In other noteworthy accomplishments that have kept me away, I've finished tax season, finished all my laundry, cleaned my room, de-skanked my car, had anywhere between 40-50 emotional breakdowns, and ate Chipotle, Vietnamese, and Tai food all in one week (super delayed Food Homecoming Week, guys!). Also, I've written 3 essays, which, once I'm done editing them, will be posted here.

I've also been listening to some truly shameful music:

Hmm. Titanic, Celine Dion, Tonight, Tonight, Justin Timberlake, and Justin Bieber? I'll stop here, because I don't think I'll make myself any more awesome than I already have.

Friday, April 20, 2012

5 Great Things on the Internet

1. Thought Catalogue: 36 Reasons Why I No Longer Know Someone I Used to Know

In November, a friend sent me this song. It was alright. Within the next 3 months, someone different posted it on Facebook every day, and it had a guaranteed chance of playing on every radio station every 15 minutes. I hate this song. But I love this post.

2. Henri, Le Chat Noir

He's so French.

3. Sauza Tequila--Make it with a Fireman

I'm not a fan of margaritas (I imagine drinking them for 4 hours straight on a hot night in LA and then puking them up in scuzzy bar bathroom would turn anyone off of them), but, based solely on this commercial, I'd drink these margaritas. 

4. Happy Birthday, David.

I can't be more excited for Prometheus.

I haven't been this excited for an Alien movie since Alien Vs. Predator in  2004. It came out on my 20th birthday. It was terrible. I was scarred for life. Scarred so much in fact, that when my friend Scott first mentioned Prometheus, I blew it off.

But then, I found out that Michael Fassbender was in it. And that it was a prequel. And then I saw a few seconds of a trailer. And, I'm back to being really stupidly excited for it. I know I've said this before, but if this movie is terrible, then I'm writing off the entire franchise forever. Of course, forever generally means 6 months.

5. Tumbr: This is the Hive

 I love Nerd Bohemian. One day, my house will be decorated in it.


6. Natalie Dee:

you cut right to the heart of me, Ms. Dee.

7. This Insta-Lucy-Gram

I love this stinky sad sack so stupid much, it hurts.  

alright, back to writing.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Oh, Facebook

I know your Facebook page is supposed to be, like, relevant to you, but damn. I realized today that 99% of everything I love is subliminally displayed, which I think is neat:

Things That Audrey Loves:

1. New York City
2. Star Wars
3. Gothic chandaliers
4. Classic cars
5. Coffee and Breakfast foods
6. Squirrels, and Baking
7. FOOD, and food parties
8. Baltimore
9. My best friends, and a giraffe, and the Boh guy, and Brumbie (my dad's horse, who I trained all those years ago) in various user pics (I luv every person displayed here, but I've known Cara, Scott and Jason for 10+ years. and uh, I've known my mom and Mary for 27 years, I guess.)
10. The Thought Catalogue is my new favorite blog, ever.
11. Crazy Jewelry and big ass sunglasses
12. Washington DC
13. Science & Engineering & Festivals and Magic School Bus
14. my blog, guys! 
15. good books, sexy authors, wine, sitting outside
16. beach parties 

Dinosaurs are missing, which is odd and sad. But hey. Everything else is displayed, so there.


Tax Season is DONNNNNNE!

Am now officially down to one part time job, as well as counting down the days til financial doom.


Yikes, you guys. It has been one hell of a week. 

Lately, I feel as if I've taken an emotional bullet to the spleen. And, much like a gut wound, I feel like I've spent a lot of time bleeding out: there have been a lot of Feelings Monster episodes, a lot of sleep over dosing, a lot of overwhelming impulse fits. It's been difficult.

But, after the binging, comes the purging. And after the purging, come the lessons.

You divorce a lot of things when you end a serious relationship. Possessions, friendships, family, cities, countries, media. The separation anxiety from everything you invested your life in is pretty brutal. And the only thing that fixes it, or makes it bearable, is time. And time takes a long time.

And there it is: time takes time.

That's my brilliant resolution. Such insight, right? I thought I'd come up with something more profound. But, I guess that's what happens when it takes you seven years to learn a simple lesson. Yep. We've got some real Sex and the City rationalizin' up in here. But, at least I don't dress like a Carrie Bradshaw Tranny.

Well, not anymore.

Except that I do.

And I am, right now. whoops.

But, speaking of other things that are awesome (besides Girls, Game of Thrones, Madmen, The Killing, and 16 & Pregnant), I started the new Chuck Palahniuk, Damned, on Saturday.

It's no Survivor, Haunted, Fight Club, or Choke, but it has something of a Vonnegut touch to the voice, so so far, I'm digging it. 

well put, Chuck.

More on the book when I can finish it. Right now, my two part time jobs have me spinning. Ugh. But Tax Season is over on Wednesday, so at least one end is in sight.

*also, I apologize if "Time" by Hootie and the Blowfish is stuck in your head now. 

**and if it wasn't before you read that last line, but it is now, take that. 

Thursday, April 12, 2012


'aaaay, it's been forever!

I've been away for work (because I'm that important, now), and even though I've started 4 blogs, I've fallen asleep through all of them, and thus, I've generated a whole lotta nothing this week. So, in an effort to play catch up, here's some pictures from the trail ride/wine tasting adventure I went on last weekend with my dad and Mary.

This was one of those cool Living Social deals my mom found, where you go to this ranch owned by Marriott, go on a 90 minute horseback trail ride, then take a bus to a local winery, then take the bus back. It had been about 5 years since I had ridden, but, since I spent my formative years doing competitive horse showing

that's meeee
and my post-formative years drinking wine,

I was really excited.

The Ranch
my mighty steed, BeBe, checkin stuff out

the girl in front of me was an Uppity Horse Bitch, the worst kind of HB there is. The kind of HB that shows up at a public trail ride facility and scoffs at the quality of horse she's given.  


If you've never been on a tourist trail ride, the horses walk in a single line, butt to nose, and since they've been on the same trail day in and day out, they're dead to the world-that's why they're called Trail Nags. So, no galloping across fields or blazing through moutain passes. And this one was no different. We were so single file and quiet (except for Mary and me occassionally being obnoxious, as we tend to be), that it reminded me of a Dothraki death march. Needless to say, I had the Game of Thrones stuck in my head the entire time. Longest caption ever.

We saw beautiful half dead, half budding Virginia country side, crossed a few streams, crowed at a few long horned steer, bonded with nature. My studly steed, BeBe, was perfect. We even got a few trotting jaunts in there. I found out at the end that it was his maiden voyage out on the trail. But he was such a pro, he fooled me.

Bebe in an old-west shot
We then proceeded to the Desert Rose winery, where I had a few glasses of surprsingly delicious wine and was surrounded by so many DC yuppies, I felt compelled to break out the Instagram (ohsnap).

Virginia isn't so pretty in April
Mary is a fancy bitch
dad is a fancy bitch

audrey is a fancy bitch

I'm also a super smug wine taster

me and dad
 A fun day was had by all. Even if I was a little hungover by the time we got home.

Visit Marriot Ranch and Desert Rose Winery guys!

Thursday, April 5, 2012


So how many of you downloaded the Instagram app for your Android phones?

I know I did!

Here's the evidence:
Lucy, and my stained sock

tilting the camera automatically makes you an artistic photographer

Tim Gunn Can't Save You Now

I will never grow out of taking myspace pictures. #noshameinmygame
Quasi meaningful magazine cut-out quotes? Oscar Wilde? Finger Paint? sheeeeit
sweet new dresser drawer knobs

So, I know my photography skills don't reach beyond knowing how to turn the flash off and on, and the same vintage filters that are offered on Instagram came with the camera on my phone, but I'd say I like Instagram. And I'll probably be clogging up my blog with nifty 70's era photos that will just, like blow your mind all over your face with artistic genius. OOOoOooooo, maybe I'll start using mildly depressing, yet softly hopeful song lyrics as my photo captions.

I can already feel my street cred rising, guys.

Tune in tomorrow for when I show off pictures of my new text tattoo*.

I spent the entire day watching The Tudors on Netflix. I laughed heartily through nearly all of it, but, like most Showtime series, it's good, mindless entertainment.

And hey. Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Yeah, you. whatttttsuppp....

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, hunts, and sexes it up constantly
And keeping with the Feelings inspired Instagram motif:

I think a more accurate caption would be I will more than likely have you murdered

Thank you, Google Image.  

*totally kidding.**

**no, yeah, I kinda maybe do want one. #shame 

Sunday, April 1, 2012

One Month

My dad took the last of my boxes over to the storage room today, and my room is basically as set up as it's going to get. I was folding my laundry this morning when I realized that it's been a month since I've been home. And after a long weekend of feeling-induced-anxiety attacks, it's hard to believe that it's only been a month. With all the processing I've been undergoing with the guilt and the destroyed confidence and the writer's block and the lack of motivation, it feels like I've been back for years.

Dealing with time has been a hard part of this transition. Everything I had and thought I would be doing by now seems like it happened a lifetime ago. Everything that I was so sure about changed so quickly. And really, where has the time gone? I've diddled around doing endless loads of laundry and reading and moving dressers and changing the locations of earrings and books and magazines and DVDs and pictures on the walls, distracting myself to no end.

I still don't really have a plan. But I think that's ok. I've never really had a plan. Well, I had a plan when I moved, but yeah. I didn't even really have a plan when I was younger, either. But a lot of good things have happened to me as a result of not being a planner. I met a lot of great people. I've met a lot of my idols. I've been to a lot of places. I've seen a lot. And it's not like I lack passion or don't want to amount to anything. I have a truck full of ambition, but no one's really behind the steering wheel. Everyone's in the back taking a snooze or playing Words with Friends.

So yeah. Plans-less? Yes. Goal-less? No. But it's hard to nail down a career trajectory when all I really want to do is sit at my awesome new desk and bang out blog entries in-between traveling jaunts. One day I'll find a way around it. Until then, Je vais à flâne. (which is really just a fancy way of saying I'm going wander/loaf about aimlessly. But everything sounds more credible in French, mais oui?)

Just gotta make it work, right?


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...