Tuesday, July 31, 2012

SeBetJu: The Conclusion

July is over! Mission: Self Betterment July was an above average success, and I made some major strides in making life better for myself--including making healthy activities a habit instead of a passing interest, and getting back on a solid writing schedule. I even finished things up last night by cooking dinner and desert from recipes I'd never tried before from the Pioneer Woman Cookbook (more on that later). It was alright, average, but there was definitely room for improvement.

frying tacos, which was only slightly terrifying. I'm like, *this* close to deep frying my own oreos. God help me.

So, hooray for that. Now I just have to keep it up!

adorable basset interjection

But now, it is August. And it is officially the meat and potatoes of Wedding Season 2012, with Leah and William at the end of August, and Mary and Lance at the end of September. Basically, until September 29, I'll be bridesmaiding/maid of honoring it up. It's exciting :D

Happy August!

Friday, July 27, 2012

20 Things I Could Be Doing Instead of Shopping on my Credit Card

You'd think I was allergic to money by the way I get rid of it as soon as it hits my grubby little hands. I mean, I'm so bad with money that I took out my first credit card when I had no job and no savings and thusly, no way to pay it off should I ever accrue a balance. And, as I was at the time an unemployed 19 year old with no credit history, I was granted a $3,000 limit, all at the low, low APR of 18.4%! (not kidding)

I told myself that I'd defy my instincts and be a responsible credit card owner. The kind who absolutely only uses their credit card for dire emergencies, and then pays the entire balance off when the statement comes in. And for months, I stuck to this belief. I didn’t use my credit card, and I felt like I was on a path to bigger and better things.

That is, until, I used it—one time—to buy dinner. And I opened Pandora's Box.

Five years, four cards, and almost $14,000 with interest later, I finally had my ludicrous debt paid off and all the cards cancelled—all but one. One, that I for some reason kept open. Possibly for emergencies. But it's amazing how you can convince yourself that getting 10% off a knock off designer dress that you'll likely never wear but maybe one day you will and besides no one has it so you'll be totally cool is totally an emergency situation.

So once again, I opened the Credit Card flood gates, and once again I am struggling between the Guilt and Anxiety of Unresolved Debt and the Exhilaration and Undeserved Smug Satisfaction of Compulsive Shopping. And, as I sit here, only vaguely employed, shopping for a Mac Book Pro on one of 3 computers that I already own, listening to the credit card and its available balance beckoning me from its deep freeze burial pit in the basement freezer, I wonder what better things I could be doing with my money. I could be…

  1. Taking out all my money in $1 increments and setting it on fire, one bill at a time
  2. Transferring the money I would spend shopping to my SEP/IRA
  3. Putting my basset hound on doggy anti-depressants so she'll look happy in pictures of her that I post on Facebook
  4. Getting a gym membership so I can work off my dinner of champagne and cupcakes
  5. Buying my way onto an episode of True Blood
  6. Re-taking my GRE until I get a drop dead sexy score
  7. Printing poster sized pictures of this Nic Cage smile and hanging them on the bathroom mirrors in my friend's houses while they're away:

  1. Taking my car in to find out why the check engine light has been on for the last 6 months
  2. Screw that, just buy a car that won't breakdown three times a year
  3. Putting the money I would spend shopping toward extra payments on my student loans
  1. Taking a wine tasting course to make my drinking habit appear less a problem and more an academic pursuit
  2. Moving to a remote, primitive jungle and fighting and scavenging every day for survival
  3. Donating to worthwhile charities (and not the Help Audrey Shop at Urban Outfitters Fund)
  4. Hosting a Homemade Mac-N-Cheese Cook Off
  5. Taking classes or getting certifications that will help make my English degree seem less arbitrary
  6. Investing in my writing career by stocking up on booze and street drugs
  7. Buying postage for hand written letters of apology to all those people I drunk dialed
  8. Staying current by dying my brown hair 50 shades of grey
  9. Adopting a litter of hairless kittens and naming them after Jurassic Park characters
  10. Going into some kind of Compulsive Shoppers therapy

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

bearded, mustachio'd dudes

All you have to do is look at my last three relationships to know I have a thing for bearded, mustachio'd dudes.

That's not to say I don't enjoy a shorn dude. But usually, if a guy has a great beard or an interesting mustache, I'm automatically intrigued. This is to the dismay of my women friends, who all think beards are scruffy and mustaches are pedophilic, and my mom, who spent many a year trying to convince me that beards and mustaches were trashy. I contribute it to a late-blooming Lumberjack Desire--a dude who can really swing an ax (knowwhatI'msayin), or a subliminal message that conveyed bearded dudes as strong providers and protectors. Regardless, it's a visual aid for a Dude's badassity, suaveness and virility--and it's something that I'm just particularly drawn to.  

A few weeks ago, though, I was googling pictures of Jim Morrison for a project, and realized my love for Bearded and Mustachio'd Dudes goes much deeper than some superficial festish. Turns out, when I was younger, my favorite things were linked to Bearded or Mustachio'd Dudes.

Jim Morrison
Rhett Butler

Bill Watterson

Kurt Vonnegut

Shel Silverstein
Jesus Christ Superstar
Stanley Kubrick
Berke Breathed, comic artist
John Waters
David the Gnome

Teddy Roosevelt
Obi Wan Kenobi
Ernest Hemingway

Pre-millenium Steven Speilberg
Doc Holliday
the fiendish Captain Hook
Salvador Dali
Jack Torrence

I think now, as an adult, I associate Beards and Mustaches with greatness, and maybe that's why I gravitate towards the men of face fur.

And, well, maybe it also has to do with heroin-chick hotness.


Let's hear it for the beard!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

SeBetJu: the past 7 days

Um, can someone tell me where the last 7 days went? I've been too busy hanging out with dogs, family, friends, the gym, fatty foods and Batman--and doing nothing responsible.

the closest Lobo got without Lucy trying to rip his face off

painting with Shayne Ross

listening to my parents hash the old days while going through old pictures.

Dad, the hipster
my cousin Daniel and his domino train
The Dark Knight Rises--which we survived, and in which I was surprisingly not disappointed
but that's probably because I'm in love with Joseph Gordon Levitt. Even if he did have the worst lines of dialogue in the entire movie.
but come on. How could you not love him?

announcing at a horse show on the coldest, wettest day of the summer. Basically I made $500 to eat hamburgers and call out names. And I rocked it. shewwwww.

rich girls
senor Dad
what's up, Harry Caray?!
first cherry berry cobbler, which I also rocked.
Lobo-Tron, the needy, who has been camped out beside my bed for most of the week

omg, dem eyes

Princess Landmass
ok, just one more of JGL. because he's in a vest. mmmHmm.
I hope everyone had an awesome sauce week!
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