The sport where you hit a bouncy ball off the wall with slightly larger tennis rackets while wearing those plastic eye protector glasses from shop class? The most yuppie sport imaginable (except, maybe, for croquet), the loneliest sport imaginable (except maybe the balls that are attached to elastic string that imitate someone throwing it back to you? [side note, my friend Jimmy Meritt has a great bit about those string balls. I paraphrase, but the punch line is a sad kid catching the ball and saying "Now if only I had a toy that would hug me."]).
Well, I played it today! My first time ever.
It turns out that Addie has been a raquetball fiend for years. It also turns out that we have a totally free racquet ball court within walking distance of our house. Now, I didn't know things like "free parks and playing fields" existed, because I grew up in Maryland where the state is too poor/has too high a murder rate to have public parks, and then I moved to Northern Virginia where public parks are too expensive/I'm not a member of MS-13 for me to hang out in.
So Addie got racquetball gear for his birthday from his parents. A set of balls (giggle), goggles, and a racquet for each of us. JOY, considering my intense lack of hand-eye-coordination and slow reaction speed (see also: Audrey sucks at video games, sports, vegetable chopping), and today I was enjoying my 2nd cup of coffee when Addie announced that it was racquetball day. And I didn't have a good enough excuse to not go ("Hey, I just sat down to read and I have like, 15 chapters left, so I can't go anywhere." "Uh, I need to start at my computer for 5 hours and pretend I'm writing"), but my outlook on things changed when I realized how incredibly sexy and awesome I looked in my racquetball costume:
The glasses--no, well, the entire ensemble--makes me feel like Buck from United States of Tara:
And I'm glad to say that I wasn't completely terrible at the game. At least not after the first 20 minutes-- I mean, once I stopped flinching and dodging the ball every time it came near me. And we almost had a semi-legit game going on toward the end. But yeah, I cussed, growled, grunted, and sometimes yelped my way through it, and emerged a racquetball fan. And now, Addie's officially seen me at my worst: beet red flushed, dripping sweat, sweat pants rolled up to reveal stubby hair on my legs, white tube socks balled up over bright white mom-sneakers. I'm really surprised I didn't pass out from heat stroke (the courts are outside). Too awesome.
|I WILL DESTROY YOU, RACQUET BALL|
Afterward, we decided that since we were so close to downtown, (and I said if we actually went home I wouldn't leave again), we would go to the Apple Festival in all our sweaty glory. Addie and I walked around the vendor stands, fantasizing about one day having enough money to actually buy stuff at the festivals we go to. One'a these days! I enjoyed deep fried oreo's (I hate apples), Addie got his fried Apple Pies, and I went to every food vendor and mooched samples of Cider Slushies.
Even if I am so sore in my arms that I can't lift a cup of coffee without almost dropping it, today was a welcome change of activity and productivity than yesterday, wherein I slept, hard, for close to 20 hours. But that's probably because Addie and I were up til 7 AM playing Mille Bornes and dissecting horror movies (yes, we are mouth breathing nerds).
|what weekends are for|
Hooray long weekend :-)