Friday, July 1, 2011

First [actual] Guilty Pleasure

"Have you blogged today?"
"Nah. There's nothing really to blog about."
"Did you blog about your puking?"
"Job hunt?"
"What about the fact that we spent 4 days watching ****** ****** *****?"
"Uh, hell no. I'm not telling anyone about that."
"You should! It'll be your First Guilty Pleasure."
"What? I have tons of them. Well documented. And I'm not embarrassing myself with this."
"But if you're not telling anyone about it, then it's a real guilty pleasure. Your first."
"Aw... shit."

So. I stopped watching new TV somewhere in high school. I mean, I picked up on some shows through other people, but I didn't really get back into watching scheduled TV until like, 2006 (and even then it was Big Love and Project Runway. so sophisticated.) And since 2008, Addie's sat me down and forced me to watch what would become, in the long run, some of my favorite shows ever.

And some examples in the grand tradition of Addie making me watch quality, quality television like,

The Wire

ughhMmphEugh, McNulty and Stringer

A drug/crime/corruption drama set in Baltimore (whatchu know bout bal'mer). It seems to lose almost everyone in the pilot because it's really talky, but I was hooked after the first 10 minutes. It's creator, David Simon, is a batshit insane egoist, but goddamn if it's not deserved. He had his finger in every pie involved in this show and really, every single aspect is amazing. I will never back down from my level of Wire girl fandom. I mean, if I could have Wire bedsheets and posters and barbie dolls, I would. I even met a bunch of cast members in 2009!

two of my favorite characters. I'm still sad Omar and McNulty and Prez and Freamon weren't there.

Battlestar Gallactica

So say we all.
Ohhhhhhhh man. BSG. Humans trying to survive after the Cylons have rebelled and blown up the planet in a Nuclear Holocaust. I watched the entire series with Addie (devoted BSG fan) in a month last year. It was mind blowing. But then again, I'm a sci-fi/apocolypse/dystopia nerd, a trekkie and a Star Wars fan, so it comes as no surprise. All the fans say the ending is lame, and I can see that, but I definitely teared up through most of it.


Mmph.Umph. Timothy Olyphant. Mmmph.
Yeah. Timothy Olyphant plays a smooth as silk Southern Bounty Hunter who tromps around Kentucky wearing a cowboy hat and blazers and ties and I could listen to him talk all day long. Mmmrph.

 It's been acknowledged between Addie and me that if Timothy Olyphant were to hit on either one of us, we are allowed to pursue him to the bedroom without getting mad at whoever gets to tap dat. (Addie wants me to interject here that he, in fact, has "dibs" on Timothy Olyphant. And that I could only sleep with Timothy Olyphant (clearly, I love that name) if he were to resist Addie's "charms." And even then, I'd only be allowed to sleep with him if Addie could "present you as a reasonable substitute.")

The Shield

aww right
It's like Diet Wire, or watered down, slap sticky Wire made for FX. But it has the compelling story lines, violence, grittiness and great characters that's come standard for FX. Also, it has one the best endings to a series, ever. And there's not one guy in the *entire* series that I would consider sleeping with.


I want to be Patty Hughes when I grow up.

Fuck you. Glenn Close has been a hero of mine since I was 7 and watched Fatal Attraction without my mom watching. 

Damages is a story of a wildly successful "win at all costs" lawyer, Patty Hughes, who seems to find herself in a brand spankin new scandal in every new season. Told in a flash back/flash forward style, there's never a shortage of OH SNAP moments. Even tho it was cancelled after 3 seasons, is picking it up. No network! And you know what that means! More violence, more cursing, and no commericals. FUCK YEAH.

(**FX is like, my new favorite channel, apparently. Hello, they do It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. )

How I Met Your Mother

The "love story in reverse" about how the increasingly long story about how Ted met his wife and baby momma.This is, I gotta say, the most surprising sit-com I've seen. The writing (except for the season 4-5 slump where both female leads were pregnant and therefore not really filmed too much) is brilliant, touching, and pretty hysterical. And it has an extremely high re-watch quotient. The only other spat I have with the show is that they've gone through 6 seasons and we still don't know who the mother is. Basically, it's running a little long. But Neil Patrick Harris. And Jason Segel. HhhmmMmpphRrrr.

I'd hit that. And then brunch with NPH to gossip all about it.

There's a bunch more, (Dexter, Children's Hospital, Party Down, The League, etc.) and I haven't finished Sleeper Cell or Angel yet. So, it goes without saying that I never take his TV recommendations with a grain of salt.

That is, until Saturday, when Addie told me he was going to start the first season of Pretty Little Liars. I was like, ew, no thank you. Granted, Addie's shown me some really shit-tastic shows that I love (anyone heard of the early 2000 time capsule known as Popular?), I was just in too much a pissy-pants mood to watch an ABC Family show. Plus, he tried to get me into Greek, which made me irrationally angry for some reason. No, that's not irrational, the show sucks.

So Addie was watching the first episode as I was re-arranging my dresser drawers (watch out for this party house haaaaaaaaaay), and I kept hearing lines of dialogue here and there. Then it turned out that I was volunteering answers to Addie's questions, i.e. I was actually paying more attention to it than he was.. which was embarrassing. And after I was done with my dresser, I sat down to watch a few minutes of the second episode... and before we knew it it was like, 3 AM and we had watched the first 6 episodes.

And the next night we watched 6 more.

And the night after that, 5 more.

And last night, we watched caught up to the second season, which airs Tuesdays at 8 on ABC Family.

The premise is four 16 year old friends (Emily, Hannah, Spencer, and Aria) reconnect a year after their best friend Allison, goes missing (eventually found dead). Suddenly the girls get menacing text messages from someone named A, who claims to know all their secrets. The girls are then sent through all kinds of hoops trying to keep A from revealing their secrets--like who killed Allison.

Oh. My. God. This show is the television equivalent of watching a really un-exciting train wreck. And yet, there's absolutely. No way. We can look away stop watching. Seriously, it's a shitty, horrible, terrible show. It's the worst murder mystery ever. It's the worst teen drama ever. There's been like, 27 suspects who all get cleared by the end of the show, 100 dropped story lines with no explanation, loads of terrible writing, inconsistent clues (and not in the good way), wastes of space characters, and a lot of un-ABC Family like themes:
-underage drinking
-inappropriate student/teacher relationships
-criminal voyuerism
-using illicit affairs to cover up your young daughter's shop lifting (and getting away with it)

I mean, you think all that would add up to one semi-decent show, right? Hell no. They've dried them out to the point of burnt toast. I mean, we've both lost all interest in the show. And we know it's terrible and that there are much more life enriching activities we could be taking part in, like peeling back our finger nails. But, I'm afraid we're so invested now that we need to know WHO KILLED ALLISON AND WHO IS 'A'. And we've spent a lot of free time lately discussing who we think did it, like in depth. Like, today I came up with a perfect theory while I was in the shower, and I was so excited. Like, for real excited. WE CAN'T GET AWAY FROM THESE GIRLS. We are hostage.

We've been debating for the last 4 days just why we're still watching the show. And the only reason we can come up with, (beyond the obvious opiate rays the show emits through the television, which could explain why we're addicted) is that we're really compelled by the opening credits, which has a good macabre song. But mostly, we're trying to figure out the lyrics (which we did, finally, after 24 episodes)

But really... the girls in this show have the best clothes and accessories ever. So I guess that's a plus? (no, no it's not.)

So there you have it. Officially shamed.

Anywho, Tuesdays at 8 on ABC Family, guys!


Mandy said...

Ooh! I may have to put this on the ol' summer to-do list!

Have you guys watched Friday Night Lights?

Audrey said...

Addie loves it, but I haven't seen it yet. I hear it's great, tho!

Mandy said...

Matt and I both love it. And it's on Netflix instant. I think you'd probably like it, too.

Illustrious Brown said...

You'd really like the British version of Skins then. Raising Hope is also an exceptional show. And Wilfred (AUS), and Modern Family, and Louie.
Of course, I know more about good TV in the 21st century than anyone else I've ever met, so I'll just stop there, but I've got more. So much more. Including Firefly/Serenity, and, and, oh, I'll just stop there.

Audrey said...

And you're so humble about it! I watched a couple ep's of UK Skins, and it just made me feel gross. Wilfred's pilot didn't do much for me--Wilfred had some good bits, but I see it more as a movie than an ongoing series. Haven't seen Louie, and Modern Family is good, in small doses. My mom's pretty obsessed with it, but there's something about it I can't put my finger on that just bugs me.

And helllooo... Firefly's been a favorite of mine since high school. It's glorious.

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