Sunday, March 4, 2012


So, my parents bought a new couch on Thursday. On Saturday, my dad asked me to help him load it and bring it home.

We walked into the store, went up to the counter, and my dad announced that he was there to pick up his couch. This short woman with a stupid Kate Gosselin pixie hair cut and an ugly nylon sweater, tacky grey boots and a snotty look on her face stared at me, in my tunic and my leggings, and remarked snippily, "oh, is that your helper?" 

I gave her a look that said Bitch, please, I've been moving furniture since I was old enough to walk. She stared back as she turned to get the manager.

My dad laughed and said, "it looks like you just got dissed." I just rolled my eyes.

A little known fact about me is that I am kind of a badass when it comes to moving furniture. Probably because my mom used to re-arrange the house a few times a month when we were growing up, and then once I got my own room, I also started rearranging every few months. I know how to tilt and lift and navigate bulky furniture in tiny rooms. I moved an Ikea dish buffet from one level of my parent's town house to another--by myself. It's an incredibly random super power that almost never comes in handy.

So not only did I engineer the strategy to get the giant couch out of the tiny bedroom, I did my equal share of hoisting and lifting and fitting (most of) it in my dad's SUV.

And as I returned the tape measure to the pixie haired See You Next Tuesday, she wouldn't even meet my eye.

Didn't think I could move a couch. Bitch, you ain't even cute.

Basically, I walked away feeling more smug and self-satisfied as the sales clerk who dared doubt me in the first place.


And to further prove feelings of self-importance and smugness, here are some progress pics of my new surroundings:

my great grandmother's awesome dresser and my antique jewelry/make up cases

awesome string lights above the vanity mirror

can't stand how useless and awesome these are
lillies are the best (so are flannel red plaid pj pants [can't call them pj's if you wear them 24/7])

my garment rack "closets" which hide the buffet filled with Mary's wedding china
my bed, or, a place to stack pillows

including the pick me up dinosaur pillow pet Mary bought for me!
not room related:

shiny basset hounds
my new sweet 'stache wallet
whoooaaaa who let the sepia tone out?

some Kosher dips my mom brought back from her trip to Savannah

Also, not picture related, this wedding was kinda saturated in girl parties and wedding planning. SO MUCH ESTROGEN AND CHIPS AND DIPS AND CUPCAKES IN ONE WEEKEND.

So much.

And I just ate two life changingly good cupcakes from Back in the Day Bakery in Savannah, and I think I'm going into diabetic shock.  


Tomorrow I is my first Working From Home day and car legalizing/registering/inspecting day and Pho dinner day, and I'm totally excited for only one of these things.


Mandy said...

Those cupcakes are the best! (Also, you can totes find the recipe online here:

And I LOVE that dresser!

Audrey Turner said...

Omg, I am making them this weekend and will drown myself in cupcakey greatness.

Mandy said...


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