Friday, November 2, 2012

S*** My Dad Says

on explaining the "fight" scene at the end of Breaking Dawn:

me: I guess they enhanced the final fight scene for the movie.

Dad: Oh really?

me: Yeah, in the book, it's about 1000+ pages of build up to a vampire war that gets resolved in 2 pages with a teeny tiny slap fight. Worst fight scene, ever.

Dad: Like two T-Rex's with no teeth going at it in a slap fight.

And later, watching the preview for an upcoming Project Runway All-Stars:

Dad: Kylie Minogue?? Ms. Legs Australian. Just don't look at her face.

Me: ?

Dad: She has the most beautiful body for dancing, and then you see her face, and it's just, Aghhh!! Helen Gurley Brown. You've gotta get orchestra rear to watch her concerts. She just... she just has nothing to offer in her face.

Me: How.... how do you even know who Kylie Minogue is, Dad?

Dad: Who doesn't know who Kylie Minogue is?


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