I went to get coffee, and was rushing to get through the cross walk before a car hit me, when in some strange, magic juju of sweaty feet, slightly too big shoes, stupid luck and physics, I lost one of my favorite shoes.
Into a storm drain.
Yeah.
Storm drain.
I mean, seriously? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?
Here's a dramatic re-enactment of the events.
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| crossing on cross walk |
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| hey is that my shoe coming off? |
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| oh no whats happening here omg |
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| OMG THERE'S A CAR COMING WHERE ARE YOU GOING SHOE |
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| NOOOOOOOOOO |
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| SERIOUSLY, SHOE?! |
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| so awkward |
I somehow walked with enough swing that I kicked my shoe off and into the drain. And I was so freaked out by the oncoming car and the oncoming, hi-five demanding homeless guy and just all around so embarassed that I didn't even check to see if I could fish it out.
And really, wow, my first instinct when I saw that homeless dude come at me with his arm out stretched was to throw my coffee on him and scream. But then I remembered that I was only in Old Town. And he was motioning me to hi-five him as he laughed. And I had just paid $5 for that latte. So we hi-fived and he walked on his way, laughing. And I felt like a scummy Elitist because what I cared more about was slapping hands with the homeless dude, not about stepping on stones or glass with my bare foot.
So, I hobbled back to the office, terrified that the homeless dude might be following me, and I made a make-shift shoe out of paper towels.
But, you made a homeless dude laugh. And you gave me an awesome story.
It was a good death.
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| womp womp. |
5 comments:
This is basically my most favorite story ever. The art really helps bring the plot home. The whole thing ranks right up there with "OMG THERE'S A GNAT IN MY EYE! FISH IT OUT AND TRY NOT TO POKE MY EYE WHILE YOU'RE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY!"
Oh, good times.
<3 ewe
Omg. I thought this was mildly funny while reading it on facebook at work, then I read this post and about choked on my dinner laughing at it. I'm sorry for your misfortune, but goddamn it made a hilarious blog post. <3
From Audrey's dad:
"At least you didn't spill the coffee!" And, to top that one, if you had some construction paper (lime green) and a pair of 1st grade dull-ass scissors, you could have made a swell-looking pair of "Mr. Rogers Slippers....heh heh heh...stylin' in Old Town....!!!
This is tragic, those shoes are (were?) totally cute.
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