First tl;dr

HOLY JESUS LORD.

This has definitely been one of those "TRY SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY" weeks, wherein "something new everyday" has turned into "something incredibly disappointing everyday."

ok, that's not totally true.

MONDAY

MmmHmmm

wooo Osama Bin Laden was finally assassinated.

Being a military brat with relatives who are Delta Force, I was all FUCKIN A RIGHT YEAH NAVY SEALS.
Being an American, I was all FUCK YEAH WHAT UP AMERICA 
But finally, being a college educated Liberal, I was all "Uh, awesome, that was the one guy, now what'll happen to us."

Forgive me if I'm a little leery of assuming everything is honky dory after one important death. after all, haven't horror movies taught us that killling off the villain never eradicates the problem? SEQUELS, people.

just sayin; it's good to revel in the closure and moral boosts that accompany successful 9 year military operatives; however, one man dead isn't going to terminate all anti-American terrorist activity everywhere. We should maybe buckle up. 


TUESDAY

I've always said, that if I had any large amount of money to spend on something completely extravagant, it'd be on one of two things: 

1) a water-proof tv system so I can watch movies during shower time,

Not that I'd watch Asian music videos. Well, not all the time.

2) laser hair removal

LASERS

I hate shaving my legs. For those of you who don't have miracle growth hair follicles, IN ADDITION to super sensitive skin that HATES being shaved, waxed, plucked, gently lulled into not growing anymore, no matter how many precautions you take, you can't relate to my pain. 

I always figured this procedure was super expensive (and uppity) but after a long, heart to heart with myself, I figured the years of crappy skin issues, combined on how much I have to spend on shaving materials, might make it justifiable to look into how much it'd cost.


I heard about a reputable place in Asheville, so I emailed them a query about prices for procedures on the "below the knee, above the ankle" region, and if the procedure would be under $1,000.00. The nice guy who emailed me back said I'd need to come in for a FREE consultation, because the cost is different for everyone.


So on Tuesday, I go in for the consultation. The entire staff is amazingly friendly, the office is top-of-the-line, and the nurse who'd be doing the procedure spent a good 40 minutes telling me how amazing I'd feel after and how fantastic and relatively pain-free and payment friendly the whole procedure is. I'm getting really jazzed and excited thinking I might just be able to put the whole thing on my credit card, since it is a life-changing investment, and since the May special was 50% off all treatments, and I'm only looking to get a small area done, how expensive could it really be? 






$6,000.00


and that's just for lower legs--and that's with the 50% off. 

And the payment options were either a) take out a line of credit and make $180/month payments for 2 years, or b) pay half at the first visit, half at the second visit. 


Obviously, I told the nurse the reason why I emailed in the first place was to find out if it would be completely out of the question (which it was), [to which she retorted, in no un-certain terms, that if you pay less than what they charge, you might as well go to get hair removal done at a mall kiosk; to which I said, I emailed because I didn't want to waste our time because that's something I'll never be able to afford] and left, feeling like such an idiot for thinking it could have ever been reasonable.

Then I missed Teen Mom because I was writing. Boo.




WEDNESDAY


Wednesday was alright. Discovered I had over 500 page views on THIS VERY BLOG! YAY! 
And after waking up, I had a good workshop with Addie on my chapter 1, started my chapter 2, and made delicious lemon-pepper chicken and rice pilaf.


I tell Addie I want a new purse, and he presents me with the following:

love can't buy everything.

"a [real] brown [Gucci] bag!" I thought it was pretty cute.




THURSDAY




I tried to make a doctor's appointment about an issue that's been plaguing me since I moved here, and 45 minutes and 18 different phone calls later, I find out the expensive health insurance I have doesn't travel from Virginia to North Carolina. "Non-traveling insurance" was something I didn't even know was an issue. I nearly threw a chair at the wall.
  
I mean, I know how under-handed insurance companies are. When I worked as an office manager for a family therapy center, I worked with myriad different health insurance companies and subsidiary plans trying to get claims paid for patients. So I know FIRST HAND how difficult, redundant, and un-yielding the US health care system is. But, what's most infuriating about this situation is that I need health insurance. I have health issues that require check ups and medicine. I can't not go without it. And the fact that I'm charged a hefty premium every month on top of a hefty deductible, for health insurance that I can't use now that I've moved--and the fact that this was never disclosed to me--drives me up the wall. I mean, I absolutely understand why people go without insurance and just ride the state's dime. 


Basically, I have to suffer a few more weeks til I go home to visit before I can see a doctor; unless I want to pay out of pocket, which I definitely can't afford. And then I have to find new insurance. That is beyond irritating.

I know I know. wahwahwahhhhh.


FRIDAY 

Was good. I got a lot of writing done, and Addie made awesome pork chops and rice.


We watched Catfish, which I had been looking forward to since the summer, because it was marketed as "THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE YOU'LL SEE ALL YEAR" 

meh.

I'm absolutely a sucker for DISTURBING MOVIES OF THE YEAR, and the trailers made it seem like this awesomely innovative horror movie.


I've decided not to spoil the ending here, but let's just say... I've never, ever, in my life experienced more effective mis-marketing. Ever.


Side note: cat fish can grow to HUGE lengths

HOLY GOD

Much later, in an act of ridiculousness, Addie and I dared each other to watch terribly made puppy movies on instant neftlix (for example Miracle Dogs and Gold Retrievers). I don't think we've ever geeked out harder while watching such incredibly un-funny movies.

BUT 

we found something amazing: DOG CITY

DOG CITY!

HANDS DOWN the funniest, punniest, smartest, most awesome Jim Henson feature, EVER.

I had to put this large type, because that's how important it is. IMPORTANT.

SATURDAY


I was supposed to drive over to Charlotte to visit Krista,

KRRIIISSSSTAAAA!

But then this happened:

[stupid]

My fan belt split apart when I was about an hour away from home/an hour from Krista's. 


The Nice Old White Guy/Unassuming Rapist who helped me diagnose the problem, and the tattoo covered Sketchy Tow Truck Driver (pictured) both assured me that it's a $15 repair job. But nothing on this car comes cheap. I'm pretty pissed that I had to cancel my weekend plans with Krista, and that I'll need to shell out more $$ for car repair (I'M SO OVER CAR REPAIR.) I love this car and the way it drives, but it feels like I'm paying at least a $1000 a year to keep it legal and running. 

UuuuGgggHhhhhhh


So I survived the tow ride home with Sketchy Tow Truck Driver. The first thing he said on our hour long journey was "Hey you look just like mah sister!" It was a little unnerving. 

But tonight, I've eaten way too much Mexican food. And I'm not sure I'll survive that.



SUMMATION


I'm so glad this week is over. And I'm gladl for Addie, who's been a saint this week, putting up with me and cheering me up at all costs. He's wuvly.