First Guest Blogger!

Long time, no substantial post!

I've been getting a lot angry feedback from my public about my lack of posts, but I'm really, really busy doing really, really important things like sleeping and watching Dance Moms and researching colonial America and reading American Psycho for the tenth time. You know, serious business.

I'm also in the middle of 2 or 3 writing projects and some lifeshit, so I'm a bit overwhelmed and just don't know what to blog about.

HOWEVER. My mom has been riding my heiney lately about not blogging. For the last week, I've been getting gentle to seemingly violent "nudges" full of ideas for the ol' blog. And I've countered everyone of them with "don't tell me how to live," or, "stop encouraging my dreams," or, "I don't know how to write about silver flatware," and finally, "mom, start your own blog."

So she finally took my advice, and sent me a piece! And I'm totally putting it up here. So, without further ado, the story of how I came into this world!

Write Your Blog by Kim Turner

I have been anxiously waiting for a new addition to Audrey’s blog.  It is an interesting way to keep up with my baby daughter whilst she is out having her adventures.  AND it isn’t as creepy as stalking her on Facebook.  (Young adults really should call home more often…)

Yes, Audrey is our baby. The entire family's baby. LT and I had her after we both agreed that we had had enough children.  And our then current children concurred with our plans.

It was a cold snowy day when I called my friend Sue and told her that I just wasn’t feeling good. She sighed and said "um, maybe you’d better go on down and take a test." When I went in to get the pregnancy test results (the Army used to make you go in, In Person to get your results. I guess they wanted to see your face…), it was snowing even harder and LT and the kids were waiting in the lobby while this 800 year old Army nurse looked up the results for me and a Sgt So and So. "Turner – Positive!!” she barked, “So and So – Negative!!” The sergeant and I looked at each other in dismay and the nurse cackled, “you can’t trade!!” 

Audrey was due Sept 4th.  It was a planned c-section and I had a planned Amniocentesis for the week before that.  Somehow Audrey got wind of the situation and took matters in her own hands.  No one was going to jab needles that close to her OR use a scalpel in her general vicinity.  She was born two weeks early during a flooding rainstorm. And there was no c-section (editor's note: I'm a rebel. I keep shit real.).

LT says that I definitely should mention the traffic on 495 while my contractions were 5 minutes apart…(Traffic – a precursor to your adulthood), the trail of water I left going across Walter Reed's lobby (A lobby that you are VERY familiar with), and the calls to the NSA (each one more frantic), where LT was working.

I remember how tall he looked in his class A uniform; how he grabbed a young doctor by the shoulder and screamed at him to get me admitted; how I called Sue like 4 times that morning because I didn't realize that I was actually in labor (you were a planned section!); how I didn’t realize that you were born on the 13th til Gramps reminded me of it (our third baby born on the 13th!); how Sue went out and bought the frilliest dress she could find for you, and you wore it home because after LT got up, got 2 toddlers and Shayne dressed and out the door and to Sue’s in Manassas and then back to Walter Reed to pick Audrey and me up, he remembered that he left my suitcase at home (that’s how we now own a Walter Reed Scrub suit); and how nice it was to go to Sue’s and have a home cooked meal that night before we loaded everyone up and hit 66 and 495 and 295 on our way back to FT Meade.

But I mostly remember, while I was in recovery, I asked where LT was. The nurse came back and said that he was plastered against the nursery window, just staring at the baby. 

And we’ve all been watching Audrey ever since.  She is the baby that charmed her whole family.  She could (and does) get away with murder.  We wouldn’t have it any other way.


D'awww :) If you've ever wondered where I get my love for story telling, or my nack for details, quips, and sentimentality, you need look no further than my mom. She's fabulous--and one of my biggest supporters.



mom and me being super classy at Wolf TrapI d

Thanks for everything, Mom--I definitely don't say it enough!