Adventures in Food Magic

A few weeks ago, Kristin and I decided we should have a catch up dinner. And since we're the Co-Founding Masters of Füd Frenz Club (we're like the Midnight Society* of Fat), we spent the next few days obsessively coming up with dinner ideas.

What was planned: steak, roasted asparagus, hula hooping, funfetti cupcakes, and craft time inspired by this awesome blog while watching Venture Brothers.

But I should have known we were going to have a fat foods frenzy. A) because I know the two of us and that's what it always comes down to and B) when I showed up, the first thing she said to me was, "Sorry, dude, but I went to Safeway after work to get a baguette for our appetizers and I totally ate it. By myself."

Kristin is Regina George

What actually happened: 24 oz Kirin Ichiban, 2 different steaks, 5 baked potatoes, 2 trays of roasted asparagus with rosemary, a huge bowl of tomato, corn and avocado salad, 5 different types of cupcakes and half-passing out on the sofa, watching Venture Bros. and waiting for the tow truck to come get my car (seriously)

It was one of those magical food nights were everything turned out perfectly. As the flank steak marinated in olive oil, red wine vinegarette and season salt, and the filet sat in its tray covered in seasoned deliciousness, the ears of corn boiled, and I started the labor intensive (for me) process of cutting up vegetables for the salad. Kristin rubbed the potatoes down with seasoning salt, wrapped them in tin foil and threw them in the oven. Then we prepped the asparagus with olive oil, salt and rosemary. Then we made the 3 boxes of cake: strawberry, funfetti, chocolate, and made different variations of swirled and plain, with enough batter left over for a multi-colored-bundt cake. I sawed the corn off the cob and tossed it and the rest of the vegetables together with olive oil and lime juice and salt and pepper, and Kristin grilled the steaks to mid-rare. All the cakes were done as we sat down to eat. And once we dug in, it was impossible to stop. We were in food bliss, amazed at how great everything turned out and how perfectly timed it all was.

It was fucking magical. And I think we dirtied up every kitchen prep tool in Kristin's kitchen.

blurry Domestication. I'm holding a filet that's about the size of my heart. /love

By the end of the meal, all our ideas involving movement or brain power just seemed too far fetched. And as soon as I got dropped off by the tow driver, I was ready to pass out into oblivion. And let me tell you, there is no food coma sweeter, no sleep so blissful, as the dirt nap you take after you've eaten about 70 lbs of food you've made yourself, from scratch.

It took us back to the first dinner we had together back in '08, which was a bottle of 99 Apples Vodka and a frozen stuffed pretzel that we split (so poor), as we ate by candlelight and watched Free Willy. 

an inspired choice.

We've come a long way. And yes, this meal wasn't so adventurous or complicated, but it was all made from fresh ingredients. And it was out of this world delicious. And much, much cheaper than going out.

So, who's down for monthly dinner parties?


oh, and I'm going to take my car out back and shoot it. More on that later.

*how is this not the creepiest children's show ever?